Growing up?

Okay so I lied.  I said I was going to keep close record of all the fantasticness that was taking place during my last week of summer.  I did not do this… May I offer my deepest condolences and humble apologies, I cannot even fathom how unbearable the let down was.

But enough of this somber talk – let’s talk about exciting stuff!  Like my timetable for first semester; five periods in a day, first two off (start class at 10:40 as opposed to 8:00) #winning.  Or maybe my plans for fall training camps; I’ve got two trips out west for early snow lined up. Doesn’t get much better than that, I tell ya.  What else is exciting?  Well maybe being in my final year of high school, being able to rip pull-ups like never before (demolished my strength test score – #jeah), ridding my waterbelt of foreign bacterial and fungal colonies (gross, never should have let it come to this), and watching some unreal MotoGP races with my Dad were among the highlights.

Needless to say there has been no shortage of things to keep me busy lately.  School being the foremost of said things.  A resolution that I have promised to hold myself to is that I will be more disciplined in my schoolwork this year.  I know I’ve said this every year and gradually drift away from the proper course, but I’m still going strong!  And since 12U courses are what counts for university acceptances and (hopefully) scholarships I am firmly set up to be successful holding tight onto my resolve.  Despite having over a month of missed classes lined up for this semester, it’s happening.  I’m not letting this one get away from me.

It’s kind of crazy, being in my last year of high school.  Now, I’m sure almost every senior student is preaching pretty much the same story as I’m about to, but it does hold some truth.  It seems like it shouldn’t be over yet, I don’t feel like I’m ready to submit my university applications in the next few months or retire the Eastview cross country jersey after this season ends.  Although I’m not completely comfortable with the notion of having to move on I think I’m ready for it.  It seems like I’ve blown through high school in a matter of days; I remember my first OFSAA, I remember my first seminar, my first (really) bad test and countless other markers along the way.

I suppose that’s the nature of memories though, the significant things stick out.  Unless you do something remarkable or even somewhat worth remembering then it’ll be just another day on the calendar.  Just one more day spent alive.  I think it’s important to limit these kinds of occurrences, days that aren’t worth remembering, days that blend in with the rest because you couldn’t find a way to make it stick.  Of course it’d be impossible to recall everyday of your life in detail or name something about each day even if you did do something epic.  Because when fantastic things happen all the time, they become normal, ordinary, the cease to be special…  I guess what I’m trying to say is that we need to do things worth remembering.  They can be little things, like eating breakfast for dinner (because it doesn’t happen all the time – unless you’re extremely lucky – you’ll remember when it happened), or it can be something that you carry onto another day and another occasion.  Small events can build on each other and span over a period of your life which will represent a significant growth or progress.

So yeah TL;DR :  Do things worth remembering, but don’t let the best things in life lose their merit by overexploiting them.

I think at some point in there, before I went off on a very long (and thoughtful, might I add) tangent, I was talking about how it feels like high school flew by without a moments notice…  Sure, I’ll go with that.  Although it has passed by quickly, it seems like forever ago that I started.  When I look back at my grade 9 self, either at pictures or simply self-reflection, I see myself as such a child.  At the time, of course, I thought myself quite mature and important.  I suppose in some cases that might be somewhat true (kind of…), but the true value of this lies in how much I’ve grown since then.  I’ve grown up.  It’s a little weird for me to say this… But I’m not the same person I was when I started high school.  Sure, grade 9 Jenn and grade 12 Jenn would have a scary amount in common if they met on the quiet roads of Oro while out roller skiing one day.  And they would admire one another for their differences.  In some ways I wish I was still more like my younger self but, in most cases, I’m glad I’m not.  I’m fairly content with how I’ve grown through high school.

Yet, there wasn’t any one earth shattering moment where I jumped up and yelled EUREKA! in the middle of a Bilton life talk, or deep ponderous silences in the basketball locker room after the halftime talks when everything kind of changed like it does in the movies (probably because they only have a couple hours to sort out the plot)…  but each little moment has value, and the value builds up, so now when I look back and can reflect on how I’ve grown and what I’ve learned.  I might not be able to pick out every individual moment that made a difference, but they’re all there.  At the time some things mean more than others, and some you don’t really appreciate until your miles down the road.  So even if at the time something seemed like an insignificant change or moment, they still stuck.  And important things stick, I know that.

Well that was thick.  I’m not so sure what I just said or if it even makes any sense.  It’s one of those days where I think about something and really want to get it out but my fingers struggle to keep up typing.  Anyways, last thing’s last!  Today I raced, for the last time, at Sunnidale Park… And I am very proud to say that in all my 8 years of racing at this venue (grade 4 through grade 12, 9years old to 17years old) that I have never lost a race.  Not too shabby, eh?  It’s one of the things that I like to mention because I don’t think anyone else can claim the same thing.  An eight year streak is pretty good, especially with the level of competition at the senior girls level these past years.

All right, what’s done is done and (eventually) there’ll be more to come.

Jackson Out.

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