About 11km into my 33km commute home from work on Saturday, and 3 minutes into the first of four 5 minute tempo efforts I had for the ride, a few thoughts were running through my mind.
- Man, it’s hard to go hard
- This is harder than I remember
- This shouldn’t be so hard
- Jeez, I haven’t done anything hard in over two months, since August 6th.
I then quickly corrected my thoughts to account for how hard it was to “do nothing” for 6 weeks while waiting for my patella to mend, for how hard it was to start remobilizing my leg, to try and bend my knee. There are all kinds of difficulties in life, how you identify and deal with them is really what matters. And then, the next few efforts weren’t so hard. They were weird, absolutely. The strength and stability in my right leg are steadily coming back, but I’m still pretty imbalanced – reactiveness and nimbleness, in particular, still elude me.
Sometimes it seems like I’ll never be completely better, but I’m sure there will be a point when all this time blends together. August 6th feels like a lifetime ago, as do July 22nd and 30th. But like I’ve said before and tell myself constantly – any given day is just another day on the calendar. And in the same breath, I tell myself, every day is another day. Sometimes it’s nice to just stop and take a breath.
By and large though – I am back to normal. And I’m absolutely over the moon about it. On September 18th the orthopaedic surgeon confirmed that my patella was back in one piece and I was clear to get started with physiotherapy. Now, after another 5 weeks of steady rehab, I’m back within just a couple degrees of my full range of motion! There were times, both while I was waiting anxiously for the bone to mend, or when I would be struck with splitting pain if I stood up or turned too quickly early in rehab, when I would worry that my one small mistake in MSA had dealt me a physically life changing injury. Now, as I creep closer and closer to being completely healthy, I am more positive that it was just a blip in the radar. Of course, there is still more work to be done, little nuances to work out, but it’s all part of the journey, all chapters of the story. You rise and you fall, but always keep moving forward, always keep on keepin’ on.
The fall riding has been amazing. We have been blessed with some phenomenal fall (and occasionally summer-y) weather over the past few weeks. I’m starting back into a training routine; mostly focussed on getting my leg back to normal and laying foundations for the winter. It’s really just great to be functioning like a mostly normal person, and feeling more like myself. I can’t say much more than that, so I’ll leave off with a few photos. Until later!
We’re back
Muscle atrophy is a very real thing
Getting in some crutching milage
Spotted single-leg pedalling over at the Horseshoe Interclub
One of many great sunrises I’ve caught this fall
Worried about what I’ll do while Ryan is away in Norway this year
Jenn Jackson 